Wait, it’s too late.

I’ve often wondered if I’d ever learn to love what I write,
but first I guess I need to love myself, right?
Wondered if there’s someone kind enough to lend me a ride,
and if there is, save me from this lifelong fight.

I keep wandering off having already lost my sight,
waiting for the rain to end and the day to get bright,
but before the light finds me, I just might
go down the drain because I’ve already lost my mind.

Down.

Caught in an endless loop, going back and forth,
my head spins as I go in this spiraling swirl.
Pulled down by the gravity of guilt & the weight of this world,
waiting impatiently, hoping for my life to turn.
I’ve tried a million times but these thoughts I cannot shun,
it just feels like the pain has just begun.
Gone are the days when I thought life was meant to be fun,
craving for an end, I’m tempted to make that final jump.
For this life has me stUck & this life has me stumped,
just pull me back up and save me from this illusion.

stUck.

Tell me, have you ever gone sleepless?
Your whole body paralyzed and tied to the bed.
Wishing you could be mindless,
to silence the noise or just drop dead.

Have you ever felt hopeless?
Drenched by an endless rain of tears and blood.
Trying not to think all this is meaningless
or just waiting to be drowned by the floods.

Have you ever been clueless?
Like a sole sailor that is stranded,
where every move feels wrong with this broken compass,
while holding onto the remaining ship that was wrecked.

Throwback.

Take me back to when the world we live in felt as one
When I didn’t have to hide my tears or fear anyone
Saw the people with love, believed in humanity and trusted everyone

Take me back to when the world we live in felt new everyday
When I felt fresh feelings for the first time and lived for ‘today’
Always got my feet back on the ground and didn’t worry about yesterday

Take me back to when the world we live in felt hopeful and young
When I could be a dreamer and saw myself as the promised one
Promised one? All I want to do today is start over as a kid again.

DRUNK DIAL

I’m just a lonely lad
thinking about the time I had
lost my love.
Wondering how to get her back
it makes me very sad
because I want her now

Just want to hold her hand
stare into her eyes and
fall in love.
After all this time,
I want to call her mine
and maybe even get my heart broken again.

“Okay! You’re clearly sad,
miserable, horny and a tad
bit drunk.
You can barely stand. It’s all just a fad
and you haven’t learnt your goddamn lesson.

She drove you mad!
You hated her dad,
have you forgotten?
And if I may add…
you both were always bad, so shut up!
You just want to feel something in the end.”

There’s no God, only Godliness.
There’s no genius, only the act.
There’s no hate, only fear.
There’s no beauty, only being.
There’s no coming out, only getting in.
There’s no peace, only sharing.
There’s no perfect, only unique.
There’s no freedom, only struggle.
There’s no happiness, only love.
There’s no absence, only ignorance.
There’s no mistake, only disbelief.
There’s no glow, only polish.
There’s no constant, only the cycle.
There’s no knowledge, only realisation.
There’s no colour, only light.
There’s no throne, only the kingdom.
There’s no anger, only disappointments.
There’s no reward, only the journey.
There’s no death, only sleep.
There’s no life, only memory.

There’s no you, there’s no me,
there’s only ONE, can’t you see?

Man in the mirror.

Standing naked, before the mirror in my mind,
staring at my reflection, trying to see.
As the world around faded, leaving just darkness behind, 
I saw who I wanted to be, but he wasn’t completely me.

My alter ego, compulsive and wired,
pretending to live in the present.
Alternating between past and future, tired!
This man I resent.

Fooled by that we are what we think,
our mind has a mind of its own.
I am, I exist, therefore I think.
For it could be my friend or my foe.

Conscious, I watch the mind critique
and as always it overpours.
In silence, I watch all this repeat,
deeper and deeper I explore.

As thoughts subsided in prolonged silence,
my mind; peaceful, still and free.
For the thoughts were mute at the heightened conscience,
I finally saw myself in me. And I chose to let it be.



Chilly winter winds as they stutter through the leaves,
She leans over me, resting herself on my sleeves.
As the clouds turn dark and the temperature drops,
Tension arises and my heartbeat stops.

Large part of the bench left empty on both our sides,
I took my hand off and moved two long strides.
Drawing a deep breath, I go down on my knee,
With no hesitation, I asked “Will you marry me?”.

She hid her face as she gasped behind her hands,
I stood up glowing just like the diamond ringband.
Our eyes meet like the ocean meets its horizon,
Million emotions all in an eminent expression.